The Lone Samurai
by a1y-puff
Summary: Actually based on The Little Match Girl. "To protect" is not an easy thing to do. Tezuka had learned about it the hard way. Rated T for little bits of blood and violence in the prologue but not too much, really. Last part up!
1. Prologue

**Title:** **THE LONE SAMURAI Prologue**  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s): **Tezuka/Fuji, slight Oshitari/Atobe, with little appearances of other characters.  
**Rating:** PG-13

**Warning(s): **Lots of angst. Character's death(s). Little bits of tragedy and violence in the prologue, but it shouldn't be too traumatizing as I tried to keep them at minimum. But in the original tale, it has kind of a happy ending, so worry not. Also, some hyperlinks you can click for explanations if you wish, but they are not essential in the story itself, actually.

**Summary:** Actually based on _The Little Match Girl_. "To protect" is not an easy thing to do. Tezuka had learned about it the hard way.  
**Disclaimer**: Any recognizable characters and settings aren't mine. Any flaws and inaccuracies in historical events, cultures and such, however, are all _mine_. If you would, disregard those errors, thank you.  
**A/N: **Originally written for **perfect tales** in LJ, for **chibikaoruchan**. This fic is just too long, so I turn this into a multiparter, for the sake of, well, easy-reading too actually. I don't feel like dumping 10.000 words worth of angst in one go XD;; –shot-

But don't worry, this fic is finished so I'm able to update soon. Anyway I've fixed some typos and errors from the original version here.

Special thanks to my first readers, **Tacuma** and **applentoast**. And a lot of thanks to my dearest beta, **Thallein**, you're a savior.

**P.S:** I know not of Fuji's father's name, so I made it up. Oh, and feel free imagining Tezuka's glasses. I don't think they have oval-shaped, rimless glasses at that era.

Oh, and filling your playlist with angsty/melancholic songs might help the atmosphere while reading this :)

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**Intro:** This fic was originally written for LJ, which I can put hyperlinks here and there, but since ffnet can't do that, I prefer to list down some Japanese terms that would appear in this fic with a short explanation (or link), rather than have you scroll down to the bottom each time you find a foreign term. These are actually not really essential to the story, though.

**Some explanations for this chapter (remove the space for the link, okay?)**

1. _Shinsengumi_: http: / en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Shinsengumi

2. _Kenjutsu_: Basically, Japanese swordsmanship

3. _Ronin_: Masterless samurai.

4. _Hakama: _http: / web. mit. edu/ jpnet/ kimono/ man-hakama. Html

5. _Tanto blade_: A dagger that usually Samurai brought with them aside of their katana. Tanto blade are also used in ceremonial harakiri/seppuku (killing oneself for honor, customary for Samurai).

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_**--PROLOGUE--**_

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As a child, Tezuka Kunimitsu blamed his inability to protect his very own family on his lack of power. Born of a respectable Samurai family in Kyoto which had pledged loyalty to the Tokugawa Shogunate, Kunimitsu witnessed the massacre of his family during a political attempt to overturn the said Shogunate.

Kunimitsu himself barely made his way out of the chaos, and this he owed to the help of his _kenjutsu_ instructor, Fuji Yuusaku. Along with the death of his family, gone was Kunimitsu's smile. Since then, Kunimitsu started a new life with Fuji Yuusaku, together with his three children: Yumiko, Shuusuke—who gave him the nickname 'Mitsu' for his name was too long, and Yuuta. Fuji Yuusaku's wife had passed away when delivering Yuuta into this world. At the age of ten, Kunimitsu started his heavy sword-training together with the two sons of his master.

Two years later, Kunimitsu lost his adoptive sister to an illness that, at that time, had no cure. Yumiko had been 'mother' figure for not only Shuusuke and Yuuta, but also for Kunimitsu. Not only was Yumiko the one who helped her father raise her two brothers, she was also the person whom Yuusaku shared his problems. With the loss of his only daughter, Fuji Yuusaku could no longer smile, and, as if to ease the atmosphere, his eldest son, Fuji Shuusuke, started smiling non-stop.

In his attempt to not forget the painful memories of his daughter's death, Fuji Yuusaku began to train the boys more seriously. He had wanted to give all that he had to the three boys. Kunimitsu, being the serious boy that he was, with his determination to get stronger and stronger, never complained about the heavy training menu his master assigned them. The same went for Fuji Shuusuke, who, as his father had once called, a born genius; Fuji's lithe and frail figure did not prove to be a hindrance and the fair-haired boy excelled in his trainings.

His brother, however, was different. Fuji Yuuta was not without talent, nor was he not interested in the art of swordsmanship. However, Yuusaku's incessant, albeit unintentional, comparisons of Yuuta and his Syuusuke and sometimes, Yuuta and Kunimitsu had an effect on Yuuta.

The pressure piled up with each passing day, until one fine autumn's day, a thirteen-year-old Fuji Yuuta left the house. Bewildered and feeling guilty, Fuji Yuusaku immediately looked for his son, while telling Shuusuke and Kunimitsu to stay at home, just in case Yuuta decided to return. Kunimitsu knew better. His master just wanted to keep them safe because there were a lot of riots happening lately, but he said nothing.

At that time, Kunimitsu could see that behind the ever present smile, the honey-haired boy was blaming himself for the pressure his brother received, and no doubt, felt insecure about his brother feelings towards him. Not knowing what to do, Kunimitsu simply stayed beside the smaller boy as they waited for Fuji Yuusaku to come home.

The two Fujis they were waiting for, however, did not come back. Out of worry, Shuusuke insisted on going to search for his brother and father, and there was nothing Kunimitsu could do to stop the fair haired youth, so he relented and went with him. They ran until their legs hurt. Without any leads as to the whereabouts of the other Fujis, they searched aimlessly until they came upon a crowd of people gathered in the middle of the street. As if on cue, Shuusuke's eyes snapped open, and he immediately rushed through the crowd. Kunimitsu could only follow. About five meters ahead were a smaller group of people, laughing maniacally as they tortured two persons.

They were Yuuta and Yuusaku.

Uncaring of people's shouts of _'Don't go any closer, boy!',_ Shuusuke unsheathed his katana and charged forward with anger flashing in his beautiful eyes.

Almost automatically, Kunimitsu followed suit. They charged and slashed and thrust wildly. Nothing was on their minds but to eliminate those that would hurt their precious ones, and save the injured Yuuta and Yuusaku immediately.

Thugs though their opponents were, they were also samurais. They could fight, and they were strong. Worse was, they didn't have the ideals of fighting fair and square. One of the _ronins _immediately seized Shuusuke's hands to keep him from slashing madly, and another one gave a punch right in the lithe boy's stomach, making the brunette fall on his knees in pain.

Kunimitsu immediately ran to Shuusuke's side and stood protectively with his Katana raised in front of his chest. He had never really fought in a real battle before, and he immediately realized that in a real battle, theories were hard to apply, so he left the movement of his katana to his instinct. One thing he kept in mind was that he had to protect Shuusuke, no matter what.

Despite having excelled in his sword-training, Kunimitsu was inexperienced. Not to mention he was outnumbered. In no time, the enemies had him overwhelmed, and he stumbled backwards, right next to Shuusuke. One of the _ronins_ was ready to slash both of them with his rusty katana, when Yuusaku suddenly rushed in front of the boys and gave his body to protect both of the young samurai.

And then there was blood.

Everything had happened so fast that Kunimitsu couldn't react. When Shuusuke hysterically tried to rush to his father, Yuusaku shouted for Kunimitsu to stop him, and it was then he gained control over his arms and enveloped Shuusuke's lithe body and restrain the smaller boy from injuring himself further.

Somehow, the sight in front of him seemed surreal to Kunimitsu. His brain refused to register the sight of his master, a group of _ronins_, and the blood. How he wished it was just a nightmare, but he knew better. The heart-wrenching sound of Shuusuke calling out to his father, the pain-filled scream that was heard from Fuji Yuusaku, and Yuuta's barely-moving body, were all unmistakable.

The dark haired youth could feel Shuusuke's strength waning for he had stopped struggling and could only mumble incoherently instead. Kunimitsu felt his legs finally give up, and he fell to his knees with Shuusuke still in his arms. Together, they could only witness the suffering of their dearest people.

And Kunimitsu hated that.

He tried standing up. He could feel his left hand shaking as he tried to hold his katana, but obviously, he couldn't just _watch. _He_ had_ to do something.

He had to _protect._

With whatever strength left in him, Kunimitsu charged forward and tried attacking those irresponsible men who could only boast about their strength by torturing innocent people. Not long after, Shuusuke joined him. As if in a trance, both boys swung their katanas wildly, with their backs against each other.

Still, two against seven was a huge disadvantage. No matter how many times they dodged and deflected the swords, the attacks directed towards them seemed to be never ending. Kunimitsu barely evaded a pointed katana a few centimeters from his right cheek when he caught a glimpse of someone directing his sword towards Shuusuke.

Barely shouting the lithe boy's name, Kunimtsu could hear the sound of a sword stabbing a limb, and blood sputtered out.

Rushing to his left, Kunimitsu found Shuusuke had fallen to his knees… with Yuuta as his shield.

A commotion erupted as people announced the presence of Shinsengumi, the squad policing Kyoto at the moment. With their arrival, the seven criminals immediately diverted their attentions to the squad, and left their former preys on the street.

Kunimitsu could barely remember anything but the Shinsengumi taking care of those shameless, irresponsible ronins, and Fuji Yuusaku's last breath, not long after the arrival of Shinsengumi. The death had been fast. Yuusaku had barely delivered his last words about some hidden techniques that can be found in a scroll inside his room to the both of them, before he passed away.

Kunimitsu had felt numb. Had he just lost his 'second father'? His mind refused to process the information, but his heart knew better. Unconsciously, tears flowed from his eyes. He couldn't see Shuusuke's face and whatever expression of grief on the smaller boy's face was hidden behind the curtain of honey brown strands. Shuusuke called out to his father once again, but failed to get any response. Silently, the light haired youth stood up and walked several footsteps to the left, leaving a still bewildered Kunimitsu at his father's side.

Once he had come to his senses, Kunimitsu immediately rushed to where Shuusuke was, kneeling beside his badly injured brother.

Kunimitsu winced at the sight of the blood on Yuuta's stomach, where the sword had penetrated. The wounds looked severe, and the smell of blood overwhelmed his senses. His mind unceremoniously flashed back to the day when his own family had been slaughtered, and his left hand automatically clamped over his mouth. Kunimitsu felt like vomiting, but he held it back. This was not the time for that. Instantly, he knelt next to Fuji, whose face was filled with tears as he grabbed Yuuta's hand.

Yuuta tried to speak, but instead of words, blood sputtered from his mouth.

'_Don't talk, Yuuta! We'll save you. Just… hang on, alright?' _begged Shuusuke.

Yuuta coughed a few times, and shook his head. Weakly, he tried to return his brother's grip on his hand. In response, Shuusuke tightened his hold.

'_Ani… ki…,'_ he started, and Shuusuke immediately hushed his brother. _'I don't… want to… die… yet…'_

'_No! Of course you won't, Yuuta! We'll save you, okay?'_

There were a few coughs, some more bloods, and Yuuta spoke again, _'I think… my time has come…'_

'_NO!' _was Shuusuke's immediate reply.

'_I… don't hate… you… Aniki…'_ Yuuta said suddenly, _'I never did…'_

A few seconds of silence, and the tears flowed heavily from Shuusuke's eyes. _'Don't, Yuuta… You're all I have left. Don't leave me…' _Shuusuke pleaded; voice barely a notch above a whisper.

Kunimitsu kept silent as he watched the scene unfolding before his eyes. Not really knowing what to say or to do, he could only let his tears flow silently, conveying his inner grief. It was then Yuuta moved his gaze upwards, silently asking the oldest teen to come closer. Kunimitsu offered a hand for Yuuta to hold.

'_You still have… Kunimitsu-nii… aniki…' _said Yuuta, and he paused to catch his hitched breath before turning his eyes to Kunimitsu and said,_ 'Please… take care of… aniki…'_

More coughing of blood and Kunimtsu squeezed his eyes shut before reopening them and, steadying his voice, he vowed, _'I will.'_

A smile, closing eyelids… and gone was Fuji Yuuta, at the age of thirteen.

A cold autumn night breeze blew past, carrying the loud cry of a broken heart. The sound echoed through every corner of the town, wrenching the hearts of all who heard it.

Red and orange maple leaves fell from their branches, slowly descending to the blood-covered ground, creating ironically beautiful shades of red in the darkest of the night. In the midst of the redness, two young samurais could only grieve for the two dearest people that they lost in the bat of an eye.

They could barely remember how exactly they got home. Kunimitsu didn't even remember falling asleep; all he could recall was holding a living-corpse-like Shuusuke in his arms, fearing that he too, would be gone.

But he woke up to an empty space beside him, and Shuusuke was nowhere to be seen.

Dreading the worse, Kunimitsu immediately rose to search the house, uncaring for his ruffled _hakama._ In their training dojo, Shuusuke sat with what Kunimitsu recognized as a _tanto_ blade placed in front of him. His eyes were closed but his ever-present smile was absent. Instead, Shuusuke's lips were pressed tightly together, as if in pain. Slowly, Shuusuke's eyelids fluttered open.

'Calm' was not really the word to describe the expression on the younger boy's face. 'Blank' would be more accurate.

A pair of pale hands slowly lifted the _tanto_ blade, and unsheathed it from its cover. Kunimitsu scrambled to his feet as he dashed towards the younger boy. _'Stop it, Shuusuke! What do you think you're doing?!' _he snapped and immediately grabbed the knife away, not caring that his palm was cut by the sharp edge of the knife.

Shuusuke glanced at him; his eyes reflected nothing. _'My family is calling to me…' _he said with a blank smile that Kunimitsu wished he would never see again.

'_No, they aren't! Get a grip on yourself!' _Kunimtsu violently shook Shuusuke's shoulder, trying hard to snap Shuusuke out of his trance.

A hand was covering his, and Shuusuke calmly replied, _'but they are. I have to go meet them.'_

Panic fluttered against Kunimitsu's chest. The thought of Shuusuke leaving him totally and utterly frightened him. His grip on those frail shoulders loosened, and he fell to his knees as he moved to pull the lithe body into a tight embrace.

'_Please don't… Shuusuke, you're all I have left,' _he pleaded. Tears were once again falling from his eyes as his heart ached from the potential loss of another precious one. He had enough of losing those he held dear; his real family when he was a child, and now the members of his 'second-family' were leaving one by one. He couldn't go on living if Shuusuke were to leave him too.

The words that escaped Kunimitsu's lips earlier seemed to have knocked some sense back into Shuusuke's head. Those words were an echo of the ones he had said to Yuuta last night.

_You're all I have left._

Slowly, Shuusuke lifted both of his arms and returned Kunimitsu's embrace. The tears started to fall from his azure eyes as well.

'_I'm sorry… you're right… I'm sorry, Mitsu… we only have each other now,' _he said gently.

'_Please… don't leave…' _was all Kunimitsu could manage.

'_I won't… I'll live, Kunimitsu… I'll live…' _Shuusuke ran a hand over Kunimitsu's face, gently caressing his tear stained cheeks. _'We'll live through all this… together, we will…'_

Deep in his heart, Kunimitsu once more regretted not being strong enough to protect his second family. If only he was strong enough, he would've been able to protect them, and none of this would have happened.

Not bothering to brush his tears away, Kunimitsu faced the only remaining 'Fuji', and he pledged his sword to protect the younger boy, no matter what. In return, Shuusuke too, pledged his sword for Kunimitsu.

With help from people around them, the two teenagers had managed to find jobs that afforded their daily needs, all the while studying and practicing the hidden secret techniques Fuji Yuusaku had left for them in the scroll he had mentioned before his last breath.

Kunimitsu recalled the reason Yuusaku had hid the techniques in the scroll. The techniques were dangerous, and one might get hurt in the mastering process. He had also written there, though, the correct way to practice such techniques with minimum damage. And so they devoted whatever spare time they had to sharpening their swordsmanship.

The scroll detailed which techniques could be mastered by Kunimitsu, and which would suit Shuusuke's sword style. And there were also techniques reserved for Yuuta. Both boys decided not to take what should be Yuuta's and only practiced to master what was left to them.

It was difficult training without an instructor to guide them. But their determination managed to overcome all hardships. They were both rivals and instructors to each other. There were times when one of them overdid the training—usually Kunimitsu—and earned a scolding from the other, but they both realized that they shouldn't do anything to risk their lives, for the promise they had made to each other.

That they will live together; for the sake of each other.

Within a year, they had perfected and mastered all the techniques left by their master. They had come to realize that to protect each other and those around them who had been kind to their cause, strength alone was not enough. They would need the so-called 'authority', too.

With that thought in mind, both teens went to Shinsengumi's headquarters, and excelled in all the tests put to them. At the age of 15, Tezuka Kunimitsu and Fuji Shuusuke had officially become members of the Shinsengumi.

_**-End of Prologue-**_

**A/N:** A detailed review would be very much loved, but any kind of reviews are very much welcomed, so review please?

If you want to kill me, though, please wait until I post the rest of the fic ne? Will try to update soon :D

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	2. Part 1

**Title:** **The Lone Samurai**  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s): **Tezuka/Fuji, slight Oshitari/Atobe, with little appearances of other characters.  
**Rating:** PG-13

**Warning(s): **Lots of angst. Character's death(s). But in the original tale, it has kind of a happy ending, so worry not. Also, some explanations you can read beforehand if you wish, but they are not essential in the story itself, actually.

**Summary:** Actually based on _The Little Match Girl_. "To protect" is not an easy thing to do. Tezuka had learned about it the hard way.

**Word count: **3250  
**Disclaimer**: Any recognizable characters and settings aren't mine. Any flaws and inaccuracies in historical events, cultures and such, however, are all _mine_. If you would, disregard those errors, thank you.

**A/N: **Originally written for **perfect-tales** in LJ, for **chibikaoruchan**. Umm so.. you might want to kill me reading this chappie, BUT.

**Before you decide to kill me, please remember that:**

1. This is based on THE LITTLE MATCH GIRL.

2. I LOVE TezuFuji SOOO MUCH I can't let them be unhappy till the end, kay? (Though 'happiness' is relative, really.)

Thanks to **Applentoast** for poking my muse, **Tacuma** for being my first reader, and **Thallein** my dearest beta.

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**Some explanations for this chapter (remove the space for the link, okay?)**

1. _Ikedaya Affair: _http: / /en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Ikedaya_-put underscore here-_Jiken

2. _Shishi: _http: / / en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Shishi_-put underscore here-_(organization)

3. _Han (as in Choshu-han): _http: / / en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Han_-put underscore here-_(Japan)

4. _Daimyo: _http: / / en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Daimyo

5. _Fusuma: _Japanese sliding door.

6. _Haiku:_ Japanese poetry.

The rest are just mentions of Historical Character such as _Kondo Isami_, _Hijikata Toshizo_ and _Okita Souji_. (Remind you much of PMK? XD)

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**-**

**- PART 1 –**

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It was quite a cold night in summer, but in a certain place called the Ikedaya inn, a heated battle was currently happening. The _shishi_ from _Chōshū-han_ had planned to set fire in Kyoto and captured the _daimyo_ of the Aizu clan, which happened to be in charge of policing Kyoto at the time. The Shinsengumi had managed to retrieve this secret information through interrogation of one of the _shishi_ they had apprehended earlier. .

Tezuka Kunimitsu, together with his troops, led by Kondo Isami, had infiltrated the inn to ambush the _shishi_ before they could carry out their plans. The clash of swords were heard everywhere. Screams of pain and sputters of bloods filled the formerly quiet inn as the Shinsengumi tried to eliminate those who attempted to escape or fight back.

A second group of troops led by Hijikata Toshizo arrived, and the situation became more brutal as both sides persisted towards their goals. Tezuka cut down a couple of men who resisted to surrender and tried to escape outside.

Time passed by, and the amount of resistance seemed to decrease, partly because their troops had taken down most of them, but also because the remaining oppositions feared for their lives. Tezuka checked to see if any other _ronins_ were left, when he heard a coughing sound in a nearby room. He found one of the senior members of Shinsengumi, Okita Souji, coughing up blood.

Okita tried to catch his hitched breath, but his cough racked his body and his senior clutched at his chest as blood kept spluttered out. The sight drew forth the memory of a certain smiling youth who had coughed blood numerous times before smiling sadly at him came to Tezuka's head, and he forgot his surroundings.

"Watch behind you!" the warning came too late, and Tezuka suddenly felt like falling into the abyss…

…and everything went black.

-oOo-

Blinking several times, Tezuka slowly opened his eyes to find a not-too-familiar ceiling and the smell of medications indicated that he was probably in the sickbay back in headquarters. Still feeling fuzzy, the regal youth sat up and almost jerked back down again for a certain navy-haired youth's face appeared directly in front of him.

"Well, well, finally you're awake, Tezuka. Quite a slacker we have here. You've been sleeping for, say, two days, was it?" the doctor's apprentice purred.

"Oshitari… what happened?" Tezuka asked curtly.

"That should be our line. Whatever had gotten into you that you let yourself get hit square in the head like that, ahn?" another familiar voice joined and Tezuka turned his head slightly upwards to find an ever-smug face of a certain grey-haired youth of his age.

"You got a large bump on the back of your head, you know," Oshitari added.

Frowning, Tezuka lifted his left hand and fingered his way through the bandage around his head, and stopped immediately after seeing Oshitari chuckled. Atobe didn't bother to hide his snort. He didn't have any bumps on his head. Tezuka lowered his hand and glared daggers at the doctor's apprentice.

"So, what brings the heir of the Atobe clan here? Do you, by chance, also bumped your head on something?"

"Shut up, Oshitari. I am a respectable member of Shinsengumi. I can be wherever I wish. Besides, I am here to deliver the words of my father to the doctor. Where is he?"

"Sensei is tending to Okita-san right now," Oshitari answered calmly.

The mention of that name made Tezuka flinch visibly, and this was not missed by his two companions.

"I heard you were hit after seeing Okita-san cough up blood?" Atobe asked though Tezuka knew he needed no confirmation.

Oshitari smiled a bit bitterly. "You were reminded of Fuji, weren't you?"

Tezuka gave no comment, but his eyes gave away his thoughts.

Sighing, Tezuka stood up from his _futon_, and was immediately assaulted by a wave of dizziness. He assumed it was because of the hit he had received, and gave no further care of it.

"Where are you going?" Atobe asked once he realized the dark-haired youth's attempt to leave the sickbay.

Tezuka didn't answer, but he did spare the two a glance before pacing towards the exit.

"You'll have two more days off. Get enough rest, okay?" Oshitari added before Tezuka was completely out of the room.

The two boys sighed, and a wistful look crossed between their faces.

"He still doesn't talk much, eh?" the noble samurai started, as his eyes still fixed on the _fusuma_.

"Well, not that he was talkative to begin with, but it has worsened since then…"

"And it's almost a year already…"

-oOo-

Tezuka walked down the small path leading to a cemetery area within the headquarter complex after changing into his plain black _yukata_. In his right hand were some flowers he picked in a garden nearby, while his left hand was carrying a bucket of water.

He was walking graciously between the tall tombstones; his eyes directed straight ahead. The afternoon breeze passed him by, playing with the strands of dark brown. He stopped in the middle of the yard, in front of a certain tombstone, and for a split-second, his eyes darkened.

'_Fuji Shuusuke'_ was engraved on it.

Tezuka took the ladle and scooped some water from the bucket, before pouring it over the top of the tombstone. He repeated the action several times before finally putting down the water bucket. He placed the flowers in front of the stone and stared longingly at the engraved name. .

'_It's been almost a year, Shuusuke,'_ Tezuka voiced in his head. _'As you have asked, I'm living until today.' _

There was no reply but the rustle of the wind teasing the leaves.

Tezuka sighed again, eyes tracing the neat engraving of Fuji's name. The grey tombstone stared back at him, as if reminding him the glaring fact that Fuji Shuusuke was dead.

Suddenly feeling annoyed, Tezuka frowned deeper. He knew that Fuji had passed away, and he didn't need that dull tombstone to remind him that. After a few seconds, though, Tezuka mentally scolded himself for having an imaginary spat with a non-living thing.

Maybe he had hit his head harder than he thought.

Now that he thought about it, his head _did _kind of hurt, like there was a light pounding inside it. Tezuka squeezed his eyes shut and brought a hand to cradle his throbbing temples.

"Are you alright?" said a familiar voice, and Tezuka slowly opened his eyes. A tall figure with similar plain black _yukata_ stood not far from his right.

"Sanada," Tezuka nodded his head in greetings.

Sanada stepped closer and passed Tezuka to his left, before stopping in front of a tombstone not far from him. "I heard you got your head hit pretty hard at Ikedaya?" the stern-looking man asked as he poured water on top of a tombstone with '_Yukimura Seiichi'_ engraved on it.

"Ah," was Tezuka's curt reply before returning his attention to Fuji's resting place.

There was a moment of silence while the two of them stood and stared at the tombstones in front of them, drowning in their own thought; conversing with the shadow of those who should have been in heaven.

Sanada then walked a few steps to Fuji's grave, and said, "If I may, I'd like to offer my prayer to Fuji-kun as well."

"Sure, thank you," replied Tezuka as he took a step sideways.

Sanada stood in front of Fuji's grave with his hands clamped before his chest and closed his eyes. Then, he bent to take his water bucket and was about to leave when he glanced at Tezuka. The expression on the other youth's face was not really fathomable to Tezuka, but he took it as something close to 'sympathy'.

"You need to let go of him, Tezuka," Sanada finally said.

Tezuka's brows twitched. "Do you mean to _forget_ him?" he snapped with a sharp edge in his tone.

Sanada sighed. "No, it's different. You shouldn't forget him since deceased people could only live in one's heart, but you need to let go to continue living."

"I _am _living." Tezuka retorted.

Sanada gave no more replies. Instead, he stared silently into Tezuka's hazel eyes. Then, he turned on his heels after a brief, "I'll be going first."

Tezuka stood still, watching the retreating back of his companion with a frown. For a split second, he thought he saw a faint figure of a certain blue-haired male with a smile on his face, embracing Sanada's back before floating upwards and disappearing. Tezuka blinked and shook his head, but he saw nothing unusual. He blamed it on his imagination caused by a trick of light. Then, he reverted his gaze back to Fuji's tombstone and sighed.

'_I am living, aren't I, Shuusuke?'_

The grey object gave him no response.

-oOo-

Tezuka never really gave much thought about his life, but there were times he felt like his life was so dull, so empty. He felt incomplete, like there was this missing piece to fill the hole in his heart. Of course, Tezuka knew what was missing; _Fuji_.

For Tezuka, Fuji was a family, a brother, a rival, a best friend, and _more_. To put it simply, Fuji was his _everything. _Tezuka had thought once that the affection he held towards the younger boy was that of a brotherly love. After all, they had grown up together and lived as a family once he was taken in by Fuji Yuusaku.

After the tragedy that had left both of them with only each other, the feeling of affection towards the fair haired youth had grown bigger. At first, Tezuka had thought that it came from his desire to protect his adoptive brother, but there had been times when Tezuka thought what he felt towards the other boy wasn't that innocent.

After Fuji's attempt at seppuku—which Tezuka had put a stop to—Fuji had gradually returned to the self he was before the incident, all because he had Tezuka with him. Tezuka too, had finally started to smile, albeit rarely, because he had Fuji by his side. Together, they had emotionally supported each other.

He had never really wanted to have any romantic relationships of any sorts with Fuji. Just having him by his side, being able to protect him and seeing his smile was enough.

And yet Fuji himself had been taken away from him.

Ever since then, Tezuka felt that his own existence was no longer whole.

-oOo-

It had been weeks since the incident at the Ikedaya inn, and according to Oshitari, the wound on his head had been healed, but sometimes, Tezuka got these occasional headaches. They weren't bad; just some light pounding on his head but it was nonetheless uncomfortable.

"Probably it's a post-trauma effect, since your head got hit really hard," was what the doctor's apprentice said.

That night, as usual, he had dinner together with the other members. He stared at the meal before him and his appetite grew bigger as he saw grilled eel, his favorite dish.

"Why are you staring at your meal like that, Tezuka-san?" asked Momoshiro, a fellow swordsman on his troop as he peeked curiously on his Tezuka's meal.

"Nothing. This grilled eel looks good," Tezuka replied coolly.

For a second, Momoshiro looked at him with widening eyes, before bursting out in laughter. "Tezuka-san," he said in the middle of his mirth, "were you attempting a joke? Saying an ordinary grilled fish as a grilled eel… bwahahaha!"

Tezuka blinked and almost immediately, he looked back to his meal… and blinked again. He was sure he had seen grilled eel before, but in front of him now, sat innocently, a grilled fish.

"I didn't know you were capable of jokes, Tezuka-san!" said Momoshiro, still laughing.

Tezuka gave no reply, and stared at the dish that had changed forms magically before his eyes. He felt a headache coming, and he lost his appetite.

-oOo-

It was an uneventful night. Tezuka was on patrol duty and he strolled down the street. The summer night breeze toyed with his hair, and he closed his eyes for a brief moment, enjoying the gentle wind against his face. When he opened his eyes, he had to blink at the sight of a red maple leaf falling slowly to the grounds.

It was still summer. There was no way a red maple leaf should fall from its branch. Besides, they should still be green. Tezuka looked up then, and saw the flurry of red and orange maple leaves falling down slowly from nowhere, creating beautiful shades of red around him.

And he thought he saw bloods on the grounds.

Tezuka stepped backwards. The redness around him promptly reminded him of that tragic night, where he had lost his master and Fuji Yuuta. The memories of that night swiftly made their way to Tezuka's mind's eye, forcing the dark-haired samurai to see once more the scene he had wanted to forget.

The smell of blood drifted to his nose, and Tezuka had to clamp a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from vomiting.

"Tezuka-san!"

Hearing his name called, Tezuka snapped out of his reverie. He weakly turned his head and found Echizen, a new gifted member of the Shinsengumi, heading towards him.

"Are you alright?" the young samurai asked once he caught up with his senior.

Tezuka blinked his eyes and looked around. There were no red maple leaves around, nor was there any blood. Did he just have an illusion? Or was he dreaming while walking?

"Tezuka-san?" Echizen called again while looking worriedly over his rather disoriented companion.

"I'm sorry. I'm alright," Tezuka answered in a flat tone, trying to calm himself. A cold bead of sweat trailed down his temple, and once again his head throbbed.

"It's my shift now," Echizen started, looking at the older boy while trying to hide his concern, "You should go back to the headquarters. I'll take it from here."

Feeling the need to rest, Tezuka complied. "I'll leave the rest to you, then," he said before walking away.

As he made his way back to the H.Q., Tezuka couldn't help but muse on what just happened to him. Whether it was a dream or an illusion, it was the first time Tezuka had such reaction upon seeing a pile of maple leaves on the grounds. Sure, autumn had been a harsh season for him and Fuji, for it was the season where they had been left alone in this world, having no one but each other.

Ever since then, he had been through three autumns with Fuji by his side. Probably that was why they could stay strong, because when memories of that night started to get overwhelming, they could lean on each other for comfort.

Summer was about to end, and autumn was just around the corner. Tezuka wondered if he could survive the season this year, without Fuji by his side.

-oOo-

_It had started with light coughing, just as if one had merely caught a cold. Tezuka didn't really remember exactly when the coughing started, but by the time he realized it, it had been more and more frequent. He had asked about it numerous times, but Fuji would just shrug it off, saying he was probably catching a cold and he would recover in no time. Tezuka couldn't help but feel something was wrong, since as frail as Fuji may physically seem, he was the type who was actually always healthy._

_Aside from the frequent coughing, Tezuka noted, Fuji was as healthy as one might be. He was still an outgoing person who seemed to be friends with all those around him. With his rather twisted sense of humor, Fuji provided entertainment for those around him. Fuji seemed so alive, so bright that Tezuka almost missed the signs of his degrading health._

_It was after his seventeenth birthday that his health seemed to have gradually worsened. Tezuka would sometimes find Fuji coughing up blood, and from then on, Tezuka had become more and more protective towards the smaller boy – some would even say he was over-protective. _

"_Don't be so overprotective, Mitsu. I can take care of myself," had been Fuji's statement when he started to get annoyed by the older boy's treatment._

"_You're si… not so healthy," Tezuka replied coolly._

"_Look," Fuji said again, crossing his arms in front of his chest in annoyance, "I'm perfectly healthy, as you can see. It got a bit colder lately so I cough every once in a while. Don't make such a big fuss over it, okay?"_

_Tezuka was silent. 'The weather is quite hot this summer,' was what he wanted to say, but he knew better. So, Tezuka settled himself with saying, "I'm still worried."_

_Seeing the look of concern in Tezuka's eyes, Fuji's annoyance melted away. He uncrossed his arms and stepped closer to the older boy until they were mere inches away. He smiled wistfully. "I am the one who knows my health best, Mitsu, and I assure you that I am perfectly fine, so don't worry about me, alright?"_

_Tezuka knew the stubborn look in Fuji's eyes, so he said nothing. Instead, he took a step forward, closing the distance between them before gathering the lithe body into his arms. When Fuji questioned his action, Tezuka still said nothing, and tightened his arms instead, as if he didn't want to let go._

_Sure, Fuji knew best his own health._

_And Tezuka knew Fuji was lying to him._

-oOo-

Something was wrong with him. Tezuka noticed that he had been… _seeing things _a lot lately. Like when he was taking a walk around the river, he saw a really big tuna that should have been deep under the sea instead of the shallow river, or when he saw a beautiful flower garden in the supposedly empty grounds where only weeds grew.

Or that one time when he saw a figure that looks painfully like his mother on an empty corner of the town.

Thinking that he was probably going crazy, Tezuka walked towards the sickbay with a frown adorning his handsome features.

Opening the _fusuma,_ he found Oshitari holding a book while gazing at the falling maple leaves outside.

"The red maple leaves fell on the grounds, as silently as what my heart sounds…." was the first thing he heard upon entering the sickbay.

"For God's sake, you better stop, Oshitari. You have absolutely zero talent in making _haiku_. Your lines just now had no beauty injected in them," another voice chimed in, and Tezuka was too familiar with that smug tone of the speaker.

"How rude," came the hurtful reply that betrayed the teasing smirk on Oshitari's face. "And here I was going to make one for you, Atobe-_sama_" he drawled.

"I have no need for such things," Atobe replied, a tint of pink faintly coloring his cheek.

"Ahem," Tezuka cleared his throat. "Can I see the doctor?"

"Oh, Tezuka. You were there? Eavesdropping is not really nice, eh?"

"I wasn't," Tezuka scowled.

"What brings you here, then?"

Tezuka sighed. "I need to see the doctor… I think…"

Atobe raised an eyebrow at that, while Oshitari's face turned a bit more serious. "You _think_?" asked the doctor's apprentice. "Is something wrong?"

Tezuka stared at Oshitari for a few seconds, not really sure how he should explain his current conditions. Then, he closed his eyes for a brief moment, before finally said, "I'm having visions."

**-TBC****-**

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**A/N: **Sooo… is that a cliffie? It's originally a (really, really long) oneshot, so I was confused as to _where _I should cut the story XDD. Next part would be the last so don't kill me yet!

A DETAILED review would be really much love, but ANY kind of reviews are welcomed, so please tell me what you think, ne? :D


	3. Part 2 last

**Title:** **The Lone Samurai**  
**Character(s)/Pairing(s): **Tezuka/Fuji, slight Oshitari/Atobe, with little appearances of other characters.  
**Rating:** PG-13

**Word Count:** around 4800

**Warning(s): **Lots of angst. Character's death(s). But in the original tale, it has kind of a happy ending, so worry not. **Summary:** Actually based on _The Little Match Girl_. "To protect" is not an easy thing to do. Tezuka had learned about it the hard way.  
**Disclaimer**: Any recognizable characters and settings aren't mine. Any flaws and inaccuracies in historical events, cultures and such, however, are all _mine_. If you would, disregard those errors, thank you.  
**A/N: **Originally written for **perfect-tales** in LJ, for **chibikaoruchan**. This is the last part, people. And I SWEAR I'm not gonna write anything like this anymore (or at least, for the time being). It's killing me and my plot bunnies. No, really.

Anyway, this is gonna be a bit long, but if I cut it, the whole atmosphere would be gone, which is bad. So bear with me the last time ne :D

Thanks to **Applentoast** for poking my muse, **Tacuma** for being my first reader, and **Thallein**, my dearest beta.

**PS:** Don't forget to turn on your music player and play all the angsty/melancholic songs you have there ;)

**Just one note for this chappie (remove the space for the link, okay?)**

1. _Haori_: http: / / web. mit. edu/ jpnet/ kimono/ man-haori. html

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**- PART 2 -**

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"_I'm afraid your brain is damaged. Your head got hit pretty hard from behind, and when you collapsed forward, the impact of your head with the floor was also hard… "_

Still wearing his indigo kimono and a black hakama, Tezuka walked down the riverbank, the orange sky reflected on the river below. The sun was about to set, and the huge red object peeked shyly from behind the yellowish clouds.

"_Is there any way to cure this, sensei?" Oshitari asked, his flat tone betraying the worry in his eyes._

Sitting on the grass, Tezuka watched as the sky grew redder, and the water surface created beautiful glowing shades of red.

For him, it looked like a river of blood, but Tezuka no longer knew if it really looked like that, or if his visions created the illusion.

_The doctor was silent; his eyes met the floorboard as he whispered, "I'm sorry…"_

"_Even if we can provide a lot of money for it?" Atobe added; his face looked desperate._

"_It's not the matter of money, Atobe-kun," the doctor said forlornly. "I'm really sorry, Tezuka-kun…"_

The things Tezuka remembered before coming to this riverside was the Doctor's uneasy expression, Atobe's grim face, and Oshitari's anxious look.

Tezuka didn't recall letting any expression show on his face, though.

He didn't even know what he was feeling inside. One might say he was in a state of numbness, where he couldn't feel anything because the shock was so overwhelming. But somehow, he didn't feel that shocked either.

The doctor said his visions shouldn't hinder him much in his daily life, but Tezuka didn't know about that.

There came again the pounding in his head. Tezuka lifted his right hand to cradle his temple and squeezed his eyes shut. Inevitably, a question crossed his mind. _Would he die soon?_ Even if he knew next to nothing about the medical world, a damaged brain was not a trivial thing. That much, he was sure.

A single maple leaf fell onto his lap. It was autumn already, so this one might not be an illusion. Tezuka didn't remember, though, if there were any maple trees around here.

The sun kept descending slowly, and the sky grew even darker. Another maple leaf fell onto his head, and he lifted his left hand to brush the leaf away… and he caught a glimpse of someone standing not far to his left.

The figure wore a white _yukata,_ and strands of sandy brown were blown by the wind in such a way that Tezuka couldn't see the person's eyes.

But Tezuka saw the smile.

For a moment, Tezuka kept staring at the lithe figure which he was sure was another illusion. Turning his gaze back to the setting sun, Tezuka sighed and smiled bitterly.

He wondered if this vision was caused by his desire to have Fuji by his side today, on his nineteenth birthday.

-oOo-

Three groups of _ronins_ were creating riots all over the place. The Shinsengumi suspected that this time, it was not just some ordinary groups of _ronins,_ though. They were probably sent by some _shishi_ who aimed for rebellion or something like that. This was the third within in a month, and this time, one of the groups just had caused a mess within Tezuka's patrolling area.

He was about to slash his katana over what looked like a _ronin_, when he heard Echizen called, "Tezuka-san, where are you aiming for?"

Tezuka blinked and when his katana cut nothing but the wind did he realize what he had seen was not real. Cursing inwardly, Tezuka turned his body around just in time to defend himself from a slashing katana with his left arm.

Wincing from the pain, Tezuka swung his left arm and elbowed his attacker before slashing his Katana at his enemy's hand, making the other's rusty Katana fly through air and land uselessly on the ground.

Echizen rushed to his side and asked, "Are you alright?"

"Ah," Tezuka replied curtly. "Echizen, how many _ronins_ left?"

"Eh? Three…" Echizen answered hesitantly as he swung his katana to defend himself.

Tezuka frowned. Then why did he see five of them? He felt a headache coming, and his head started throbbing mildly.

The pounding in his head and the pain in his left arm had managed to break Tezuka's concentration. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to feel the killing aura around him because his eyes didn't seem to be dependable at the moment. Faintly, he could feel the presence on his left side, with an obvious murderous intent. He prepared to swing his katana, but the pain in his left arm hinder his timing in reacting, and so before he knew it, a sharp object cut into his left shoulder, deep.

"Tezuka-san!" Echizen called and hurriedly rush to his side, trying to defend his senior.

The _ronin_ laughed at him, saying something about how pathetic he looked then with his dominant arm injured and he couldn't even hold a katana properly, and that he couldn't even protect himself.

The words brought back a memory that he thought he had forgotten; the memory of the day where his own family was slaughtered right before his eyes. The attacker had said a very similar thing to his father then, who had tried hard to defend his wife and his son.

Yet his father had failed to do so.

Switching his katana to his right hand, Tezuka stood tall as if the wound on his left shoulder was nothing. "Out of my way, Echizen," he said; anger flashing in his hazel orbs.

He refused to be weak. He refused to be defended by others. His pride didn't allow him to blame his weird visions for his failure in protecting even himself. Clutching the hilt of his Katana with his right hand, Tezuka charged forward. He glided towards the remaining _ronins _and swiftly, he swung his katana upwards, taking down one enemy in the process. Then, he spun on his heels and kneeled on one knee as he spread his right arm to the side, slashing another _ronin_ down. Then, he stood up again and thrust his sword at the remaining opponent. He did all that in one swift movement that his enemies had no chance of dodging. He took all of them down.

Echizen gaped at the sudden change in his senior. The move just now seemed different then the style Tezuka had displayed all this time. And his eyes… for a moment, he thought he was scared of the piercing gaze Tezuka had in his eyes.

"Let's go back," Tezuka said calmly as he sheathed his katana, his eyes staring coldly at the lifeless figures he had taken down.

"Are you alright?" Echizen asked, and Tezuka just nodded in response, ignoring the throbbing in his head. "I didn't know you were also a _nitoryuu_."

Tezuka merely glance at his junior. A memory suddenly hit his mind.

"_Don't you want to learn using sword with your right hand, Mitsu? Might be useful in a fight."_

"I don't use my right hand often," Tezuka finally replied

"What was that move? It's different than your sword style," Echizen asked curiously.

"_I'll teach you one of my moves for your right hand. It's not that hard, but very effective."_

"It's called the 'swallow dance'," Tezuka paused to look at his right hand. "It's Fuji's move…"

"Fuji-san's… I see."

"Let's go back," Tezuka commanded and turned around before walking away.

Blood dripped from his left shoulder, staining an orange maple leaf on the groud. Tezuka halted in his steps and took a glance behind his shoulder. There were figures of the_ ronins_ they had just beaten up laid sprawled on the maple leaves-covered ground and the sight of blood here and there. Tezuka squeezed his eyes shut.

The scenery looked painfully nostalgic.

-oOo-

"Don't you just love injuring yourself," Oshitari remarked as he finished tending to the wounds on Tezuka's left upper arm and shoulder.

Tezuka tried moving his shoulder a little and he winced in pain.

"The cut is deep, Tezuka. You wouldn't be able to fight with your left arm for a while. Get some rest for the time being, we have lots of soldiers around here, you know."

"Hn," was Tezuka's short reply.

"Were they strong? The last time you had this kind of injury was two years ago," the navy-blue youth asked curiously.

"Not really. I got a vision during the fight," Tezuka admitted. Annoyance was evident in his tone.

Oshitari stared silently at his friend's face for a while. "Has it gotten worse? Your visions…"

"I don't know," Tezuka replied truthfully. A defeated look crossed his face.

Silence hung in the air for a moment. Then, Oshitari patted his friend's shoulder and said, "Just get some rest for now."

Tezuka stood up, nodded, and left the sickbay.

-oOo-

"_Ne, Mitsu…" Fuji suddenly called when they were sitting on the floorboard of the walkway while quietly watching the falling maple leaves in the center garden._

"_Hn?" _

"_I'm glad you're here with me," he replied, a soft smile adorning his face while he directed those sapphire orbs to meet Tezuka's hazel ones._

_Tezuka raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"_

"_You know, if you're not here, I would've been left alone in this world… and I might've taken my own life," he said wistfully._

_Suddenly feeling alarmed, Tezuka lightly gripped Fuji's shoulder. "Shuusuke…" he recited the other's name in a tone mixed of warning and pleading._

_Fuji just smiled at him. "That's why I'm glad you're with me."_

_Slowly withdrawing his hand, Tezuka tried to repress the uneasiness he felt inside. "You're acting strange today," he stated matter-of-factly, glancing at his smiling companion._

"_Am I?" Fuji calmly asked back._

_A soft afternoon breeze passed by, fondling with the strands of their hair. Fuji coughed softly a few times._

"_It's getting cold. Let's get inside," Tezuka was about to stand up, but Fuji pulled the sleeve of his black haori._

"_I still want to stay here," he simply asked; his eyes conveying the unsaid 'please?', and Tezuka relented._

_He took off his haori and wrapped it around Fuji's shoulder, where his own blue haori was already there._

_Fuji threw a small smile. "Thank you."_

"_Hn."_

_They spent the next few minutes in silence, enjoying the sight of the red maple leaves being carried by the wind. The rustling sounds of the leaves dancing in the air mixed with the faraway noises of laughter and chattering swordsmen from the dojo created a somehow peaceful atmosphere._

_Fuji casually dropped his head on Tezuka's left shoulder, and if Tezuka was surprised, he didn't show it. Fuji coughed again a few times, before drawing a deep breath._

"_I'm so tired," he murmured, eyelids sliding close in a sleepy manner._

_Tezuka brought his right hand to gently pat Fuji's head. "Just sleep," he whispered softly._

_Shifting a little, Fuji dropped his head altogether to Tezuka's lap and Tezuka started caressing the younger boy's head, willing him to go to sleep._

"_Ne, Mitsu," Fuji called again, voice barely audible for he was barely awake by now._

"_Hn?"_

"_Thank you… for being with me…" was Fuji's last word before his breathing slowed and he succumbed to the land of dreams._

_Watching the slumbering Fuji, Tezuka felt a sudden ache in his heart. He didn't know why, but, he had the feeling that Fuji would leave to a faraway place where he couldn't reach. Tezuka gently wrapped a possessive arm around Fuji's shoulder and he winced. He could practically feel Fuji's shoulder blades; Fuji had lost so much weight. Tezuka threw his gaze upwards, to the pinkish sky where the large, orange sun was ready to descend._

_Silently, he uttered a prayer to whatever deities existed, wishing for a longer time for them to be together._

-oOo-

There wasn't much Tezuka could do with an injured shoulder. He was practically off-duty for most of the time. He could still go patrolling after two weeks of rest, but he wouldn't be sent out of the H.Q to take care of big matters. At least, Tezuka could still help supervise the training of new recruits, because apparently, his right hand could do better than he thought.

Days passed by in a blur, and before he knew it, winter settled in. Today, he was sitting on the walkway, watching the snowflakes slowly descend to the powder-covered grounds. He sipped on his hot _ocha_ and tried to calm the pounding in his head. He wondered why he saw a group of fat rabbits jumping here and there around the snowy garden.

"You seem to be enjoying yourself, ahn?" a familiar voice greeted him from behind, and Tezuka looked up to find the haughty face of his noble samurai friend, dressed in an expensive-looking black hakama and a purple haori.

"Atobe," he greeted.

Atobe made himself comfortable beside Tezuka, and asked a passing new recruit to bring him tea as well. "What's this? You got thinner already? And as pale as a ghost," Atobe stated in a mocking tone, but the worry in his eyes betrayed it.

"Do you need something?" Tezuka asked briskly.

"You should be proud," Atobe started, "that I am here to visit you," he grumbled at Tezuka's lack of courtesy.

"Thank you then," the dark haired youth answered flatly.

"Humph."

The new recruit who Tezuka recalled named Horio, brought Atobe his hot tea. Not bothering to express any gratitude, Atobe hushed the boy away, and started sipping on his beverage.

"Do you see anything over there?" Tezuka suddenly asked, pointing to the direction where he saw a group of white rabbits, still cheerfully jumping around.

Atobe raised an eyebrow. "If you count a snow-covered ground and dried trees as 'something', then yes."

Tezuka sighed. _'So it's another vision, after all,' _he said to himself.

Realizations dawned in Atobe's eyes as he turned his head to see his friend. "What do you see?" he asked, knowing that the stoic youth might be having a vision at the moment.

"Rabbits," Tezuka replied matter-of-factly.

"Oh. At least you're not seeing a flying pig or something," Atobe said, trying to humor his friend.

"A flying pig might be better. At least, I would know it's only an illusion," Tezuka stated flatly, though Atobe caught the bitter tone in his friend's voice.

An awkward silence followed afterwards; Tezuka drowning in his own reverie, while Atobe remained silent.

It was then that Tezuka saw a figure walking across the garden. He wore an indigo _haori_, and a smile plastered on his face. Tezuka's eyes widened for a moment, recognizing the figure as Fuji. But then he sighed and silently cursed his visions.

The Fuji he saw waved his hand to his direction, and to his surprise, Atobe nodded to him in greeting.

"You can see him?" Tezuka asked abruptly, face filled with disbelief.

Confused at his friend's questions, Atobe replied, "Of course. It was Okita-san waving to us…" Atobe trailed off watching as his friend's eyes widened in horror. "Who did you see?"

Tezuka turned his head away and brought a hand to massage the bridge of his nose. The pounding in his head seemed to have gotten harder.

"I saw Shu… Fuji…" he admitted.

Atobe was silent for a moment, and finally he asked, "Your visions… it's not getting better?"

Tezuka took a sip on his tea to calm himself. Then, he replied, "If I start seeing someone as someone else, it's probably getting worse…"

Atobe suddenly stood up and reached out a hand. "Go get some rest. You look like a living corpse."

Considering his friend's command, Tezuka took Atobe's hand and stood up.

"I'll call Oshitari," Atobe informed him before turning on his heels.

"That's not necessary. I'll just get some sleep," Tezuka politely refused.

Atobe turned his head to look at his friend, and said, "I believe he has nothing better to do at the moment and since he's now officially a doctor, it's better for him to check on you rather than writing those awful _haiku_," his statement was final, and Tezuka relented.

Waiting until his friend's back disappeared around a corner, Tezuka then went inside his room and decided that sleeping might be wise, considering his worsening headache.

He silently wondered if he had to endure these headaches and visions any longer.

-oOo-

_It was snowing that night. Fuji was running a really high fever, and he couldn't stop coughing. Every time he coughed, blood sputtered out of those lips. Tezuka felt his own blood drain from his face._

_Oshitari rushed back to the sickbay with the doctor following behind him. And even while the doctor was tending to Fuji, Tezuka refused to leave the side of the futon Fuji sat in, all the while holding that pale, thin hand in his._

"_It's okay, sensei…" Fuji said weakly to the doctor. "I know my time is near…" _

_And he coughed up more blood._

"_No, Shuusuke! You still have a long time to live!"_

_A few more coughs and Tezuka tightened his grip on Fuji's hand. "I'm sorry, Mitsu… my family is calling to me… I have to go meet them," he smiled weakly._

"_No, they are not!" Tezuka denied, although seeing how pale Fuji was, and how bad his condition was, he knew Fuji wouldn't last long._

_Trying to control his coughing, Fuji gripped Tezuka's hand tighter, before saying, "I'm sorry… but this time, it's for real… Yuuta is quite impatient, saying I've suffered long enough… so I have to…" another coughing fit and more blood flowed out of his now-red lips._

"_That's enough, Shuusuke, don't talk," Tezuka' tone was almost pleading. Then, he helped Fuji lie down on the futon before wiping the blood around his lips and jaw._

"_That's right, Fuji-kun," the doctor added, "you shouldn't talk too much…"_

"_No…" Fuji paused to catch his breath, "please allow me, sensei… this might be… the last time I… get to speak…" he smiled wistfully before another coughing fit wrecked his body._

"_Please don't… you're all I have left," Tezuka pleaded, bringing Fuji's left hand to his forehead while he squeezed his eyes shut to stop the flow of the welling tears._

"_That's not true," Fuji said weakly. "I'm sure… Oshitari and Atobe would love to… keep you company... ne?" he said with a smile._

_Leaning against the sliding door, Atobe could only grip Oshitari's hand in his attempt to prevent his tears from flowing out. Oshitari, on the other hand, didn't bother to hide his grief and he managed to answer Fuji. "Of course," he said, and an assuring smile touched his face, but his eyes remain anguished._

"_See? You're not alone, Mitsu… so…" Fuji paused to catch his breath, "Please live… for my sake, too"_

_Faint sobs could be heard from the other side of the sliding door, as some of their friends were gathered to see Fuji's condition. Atobe couldn't hold his tears back any longer, but he refused to show them as he covered his eyes with his free hand. Oshitari's grip on Atobe's hand tightened while his other hand was busy wiping his own tears away._

_And Tezuka… no one could really see the expression on Tezuka's face since he kept his head down. Only Fuji, who was lying down, could see clearly the utter grieve that the stoic youth currently felt._

"_Ne, Mitsu…" Fuji called softly, trying to move his hand to wipe the tears away from Tezuka's face._

"_Yes?" Tezuka replied, his voice shaking._

_Fuji cough softly a few times before finally managing to say, "I might have never… said this before… but…"_

_And suddenly, his eyes widened, and he promptly sat up and coughed violently. He bent forward, clutching at his chest, and the blood sputtered out of his mouth. Trying to gasp for air, Fuji tightened his grip on his white yukata's collar, but before he could control his breathing, he fell into another coughing fit._

_The doctor tried to help Fuji contain his cough, but to no avail. Tezuka was beyond panic. He didn't know what to do but to rub Fuji's back and kept calling his name. Ositari and Atobe had left their place by the doorway and hesitantly stepped closer to the sweat-drenched boy._

_Seeing the painful look on Fuji's face, Tezuka's heart wrenched. Why, he thought, that when he had all the strength and the authority he thought he needed to protect those around him, he still couldn't protect Fuji from the dreadful illness called tuberculosis?_

_Finally, his coughing subsided, and Fuji collapsed, running out of strength. Tezuka gently cradled Fuji's head and gathered the lithe form into his arms. Fuji weakly lifted his head, and with a half-closed eyelids, he stared into Tezuka's eyes, and smiled sadly._

"_I… love you…"_

Tezuka sat up on his futon and gasped. Did he just… dream about _that night_? After a while, his breathing gradually slowed and he brought a hand to his face.

A single tear fell from his left eye and another followed from his right.

For some reason, Tezuka didn't feel like wiping his tears, so he let them flow freely, marking a trail down his cheeks and finally to fall against his blanket.

When he raised his hand, he saw a light moving from outside of the _fusuma_ leading to the garden. He thought it was just one of his visions, but somehow, there was a strong urge to go out there and follow the light.

Soundlessly, he slipped out of his blanket, and carefully made his way out of the room without waking up any of his roommates. Tezuka didn't even bother to take his _haori,_ and went into the embrace of the cold winter night, only with his sleeping white _yukata_.

Once outside, Tezuka noticed that it was snowing. He looked up to the sky and watched as the white snowflakes descended from the dark night sky. The sight had somehow given him this serene feeling, and he closed his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of the snowflakes melting on his skin.

When he opened his eyes, he noticed the yellow light moving to his right. The idea that it might be a firefly occurred in his mind, but then again, it was too big for a firefly. Maybe, his visions had created a giant firefly. He didn't know why, but his feet moved automatically to follow the light.

Tezuka walked across the snow-covered grounds, following the light that seemed to be purposefully leading him somewhere. He didn't even wear any footwear, but oddly enough, he didn't feel the cold. He was aware of the night breeze and snowflakes that made contact with his exposed skins, seeping through his thin _yukata_, but he didn't care.

Before he knew it, he was inside the cemetery area. Suddenly, Tezuka knew where that light was leading him to.

He walked down the familiar path, until he finally reached the tombstone with Fuji's name engraved on it. The light disappeared and sitting atop his own tombstone, dressed in a white yukata was the figure of a smiling Fuji Shuusuke.

Tezuka blinked once, and then he stepped closer and looked up to the still smiling figure of his dearest one.

"Are you also an illusion?" he finally managed to utter the question.

The figure crossed one leg and propped his chin on one hand, and replied, _'it depends on how you want to see me.'_

That was indeed Fuji's voice, Tezuka thought. But somehow, the voice sounded distant, even though he could clearly hear it.

"… Shuusuke…?" he tried again.

Fuji's eyes fluttered open, and his smile grew warmer. _'Have you been missing me, Mitsu?'_

Tezuka smiled back at the Fuji in front of him—imaginary or not—and he replied, "Always," as he spread his arms open, signaling the other boy to jump down from the tombstone.

Fuji's smile grew wider, and he gladly jumped down from where he was seated into Tezuka's waiting arms.

'_I've been missing you too,' _Fuji said as he landed on the ground and wrapped his arms around Tezuka.

Tezuka no longer cared if the Fuji in his arms was merely an illusion. He could really _feel _him; his slender body, his soft hair, his warmth… he wanted to believe that the one he held now was really his Shuusuke.

'_I am real, Mitsu,' _Fuji smiled at him as if he could read the other's mind.

Tezuka tightened his embrace, never wanting to let go. But he finally came to his senses. If this was the real Fuji, then…

"Why are you here?" he asked as he loosened his embrace so that he could look at the other's face.

Fuji smiled as he showed the blue of his eyes that Tezuka had missed for so long. _'You're hopeless without me, Mitsu,' _he started with a teasing tone. Then, his eyes got somewhat wistful as he recited his next words, _'so I've come to pick you up.'_

Tezuka remained silent for a moment before uttering a flat "Is that so?"

Fuji just smiled sadly at him.

"What took you so long?" Tezuka finally said, letting a small smile form on his lips.

'_Your time hasn't come until now, I'm sorry to leave you alone.'_

"That's okay. You're here now," he replied softly.

Fuji smiled warmly at him. _'I'm glad that Oshitari, Atobe and everyone else have taken good care of you.'_

"Yes they have. I'm grateful for that," Tezuka admitted. Although he might not show it, he _did _appreciate his friends for being with him all these times. "It's just… it's never the same without you…"

'_Then, are you ready to leave them now?' _Fuji asked; his tone of voice and expression was sad.

"My time has come, hasn't it?" Tezuka replied simply, and Fuji smiled.

Suddenly, Fuji's body was glowing. Tezuka looked down at himself and found that his body was too. He wondered if this was one of his visions, or that his time had finally come now. Then, he looked to the smiling youth in front of him and smiled.

'_I love you too,' _Tezuka said suddenly, and Fuji glanced questioningly at him.

'_What was that?' _he asked.

Tezuka raised a hand to caress Fuji's cheek. _'It's my reply to your words that night.'_

Fuji blinked once, and then he chuckled. _'You still remember.'_

'_Of course I do.'_

Fuji smiled again, his sapphire orbs shimmering in what Tezuka might interpret as happiness. Looking into those eyes, Tezuka knew that his eyes were reflecting the same glow. They fell into each other's arms as the light radiating from their bodies got brighter.

'_It's time. Everyone is waiting,' _Fuji said as he lifted his face to meet the other's eyes. Out of instinct, Tezuka then lowered his face, and the last thing he remembered was how soft Fuji's lips were on his…

…and everything went white.

-oOo-

A crowd of people was gathering near a tombstone on the cemetery grounds. It was still early in the morning, but the expressions adorning the faces of those people were those of grieve. There was Sanada, squeezing his eyes shut, and then Echizen who let a single tear trail down his cheek. Momoshiro stood beside him, snaking an arm around the younger boy's shoulder as he too, was trying hard not to sob loudly. The others had looks of pity and sympathy on their faces, some of them couldn't hold their tears any longer.

Atobe rushed to the cemetery area with Oshitari trailed behind him. He made his way through the small crowd, and halted immediately at the sight awaiting him. Oshitari arrived just a split-second later, and made a similar stop as he saw what was in front of them.

Clad in a thin, white _yukata_, a figure laid on the snowy grounds; pale and unmoving. His face looked unnaturally white and his lips were pale blue.

"Did he die from the cold?" a whisper was heard, and something sounded like a muffled sniffle confirmed it.

"He was out all night with that thin clothing, he didn't even wear socks… and it was snowing last night…" another sympathetic voice joined in.

Atobe fisted his hands hard; his nails were digging into his flesh. "Why…" he whispered.

Oshitari kneeled on the ground, taking the arm of the figure and winced from the cold. The body hadn't stiffened. "He died not too long ago…" Oshitari said, as he shut his eyes to hold his tears back.

"Then if someone had found him earlier, he could've been saved?" Atobe's desperate voice attracted everyone's attention, and their faces had all turned grim, filled with regrets.

If only they were faster…

Taking off his spectacles, Oshitari wiped the tears away and he stood up, circling his arm around Atobe's back and giving him a soft pat.

"Maybe it's better this way," he whispered almost inaudibly.

The look Atobe threw him demanded an explanation, and Oshitari brought a hand to squeeze Atobe's hand softly, before pointing to the figure's still face.

"He looks happy…"

There, almost hidden by the strands of dark brown, a small, almost contented smile froze on the beautifully paled features of Tezuka Kunimitsu.

**-END-**

* * *

**A/N:** THERE! it ends! Whew... first time I wrote something so angsty with blood and death... Thanks soooo much for reading and reviewing so far, I love you all!

Now... anyone wants to kill me for killing them? Please go ahead... in the form of reviews, perhaps? XD

Next time we meet... I'm SOOOO going to write fluff! or maybe crack... I dunno... hahah...

Till then,

_-a1y-_


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